I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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