I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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