I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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