I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
