Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
