What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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