and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
