apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
