At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
