I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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