Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
