Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sorry about my life...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
