Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize