Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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