My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
