They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
