he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
