no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
