seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize