who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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