She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
