you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
