i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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