Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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