I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
