so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
