Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
