Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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