Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
