is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
