He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize