She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
