sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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