I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize