I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
