when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
