i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
