Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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