Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
