Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
