Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
