I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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