I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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