So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I feel like abortions should bother me more
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm sobbing to NWA
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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