Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
