the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
