I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We don't watch enough power rangers
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize