Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
