both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
