google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
