Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
