I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize