I just pynch a tree in the face
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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