I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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