just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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