Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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