i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
