On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
