need another drink. this is the easiest way
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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