Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
