What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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