he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
