I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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