How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
