She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
